jacknoir:

u kno all the good urls are taken when

jesuschristvevo:

brushing your teeth at night is a difficult thing to do because its like a semipermanent decision once you brush your teeth thats it you cant eat for the rest of the night and i just never know if im willing to make that commitment

theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

theemptyholmes:

If you ever think your life is bad just remember that when my sister was born my mum threw up on her

She knows

She’s still pissed off at me and blame all of you

poopflow:

cause of death: second hand embarrassment 

thecompanionsdoctor:

My week is basically:

• Monday
• Monday #2
• Monday #3
• Monday #4
• Friday
• Saturday
• Pre-Monday

fonmasterguard:

So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle

frozenfoods:

[esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster

(Source: growlithed)